Table of contents:
- Frantic check of labels
- Guardian of the expense of others
- The pursuit of flirtation
- The inevitable deviation from the list
2023 Author: Cody Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 11:20
The inveterate dissaporian, we know, lives there shopping at the supermarket in an alternative way.
The gaze of a man or a woman can spark a certain interest but if the shopping is a flirt-killer (baby carrots, diced ham …) this goes out like a candle: even the slightest hypothesis of starting a button between the choice of flours and a courgette weighing is set aside.
He (but it applies to both sexes, all ages and all orientations), always of the dissaporian we are talking about, decides every purchase after long wanderings, wastes time wandering through the aisles with the same distracted and greedy air that he has in a vinyls.
He looks (and smiles with great understanding) the typical resident of the supermarket: the mother of a family who does the shopping with the list:
- start putting things in the cartel, - prohibits children from buying sweets, - puts back on the shelf the packet of candies that the children put in the cart in a moment of distraction
- scold the children, - loses the will to live, - buy Nutella secretly from children, - concludes with frozen foods, - pay at the cashier.
But he has different habits, let's say ways of living the supermarket harbingers of unexpected joys. Following is a portrait of the dissaporian lost in a supermarket (cit.)
Frantic check of labels
The discoveries made by reading the ingredients are often small epiphanies, nothing enters the cart without knowing what's inside. We read the everything-everything labels. It takes time and many don't go shopping with a tripper spirit.
Those who do not check the labels, however, know that they are missing very fascinating discoveries such as the ingredients of the preparations for puddings: only gelling agents, artificial flavors and dyes that make the milk a yellow-painted vanillin gelatinous mushroom.
Guardian of the expense of others
The irresistible temptation to spy on what those in front of us at the checkout bought, caught in a moment of complete nudity. In general, there is an abyss between men and women, especially when they live alone: women buy carrots, low-fat cheeses, yogurt and the occasional Nutella to sublimate the carnal instincts.
The men: eggs, burgers, cookies and beer.
In addition to extreme voyeurism, we tend to participate by giving disgraceful looks to unhealthy buyers, and winking at the expenses that allude to torrid evenings (like the gentleman who yesterday bought only wine, oysters and moisturizing oil).
The pursuit of flirtation
Without being too distracted by the activity described in point 1 but by taking advantage of the information collected with the intelligence of point 2, the supermarket is a place where flirtation can be found. A trolley says more than looking at the ring finger of the left hand, in times when everyone coexists.
A man who buys a tub of potatoes from the deli department, a slice of pecorino cheese and a hectogram of cooked ham is presumably single. To strike up a conversation, just say anything other than "Do you know that diet is going to kill you?"
The inevitable deviation from the list
Everyone knows that going shopping hungry is a bad idea. But there is nothing to be done, the supermarket always manages to generate needs that lead to deviate from the straight path of the list.
Let's take an example: if the list says soap, squeezed oranges, ricotta, we still end up buying macadamia oil, chocolate bars and gorgonzola. And the fault lies with the supermarket, we are not the ones who are decadent.