Invitation to the restaurant: the rules of contemporary etiquette

2023 Author: Cody Thornton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 11:20

Of the etiquette of couples at the table have written everything and everyone, listing perfectionisms from a first date at the restaurant which, in some cases, seem to come from the red planet, so far from the reality of our times.

Every now and then, the various etiquette should be updated with contemporary upgrades, it is useless to pretend that life is a mix between radiant women from Sex and the City and big men from Gigi er troione.

Between smartphones, gastrofanatism and new gourmet obsessions, courtship passes more than ever through food and the bon ton of the date at the table has to be reviewed.

The approach

Messenger, Whatsapp, Instagram: even before the elusive appointment, the couple already has a large amount of knowledge previously unthinkable.

First of all, we know where and what the other eats, what he drinks as an aperitif, even what deep perversions he has towards a certain specific, nowhere to be found brand of gin.

Yes, social networks spoil the magic of knowledge a little, but they help to make a pre-selection that saves time. If the other, for example, demonstrates interest and ostentation in sad healthy salads or declares himself to be tofu-addicted, it is already possible to make a first skimming.

The aperitif

No more than three laps allowed, just to preserve a certain semblance of sobriety which, on an empty stomach, carries with it the killer risk of invading the physical space of others and saying something compromising.

And then there is the question of the olive: my personal bon ton involves small bites of the pulp by holding the aforementioned between thumb and forefinger, avoiding the unpleasant gesture of spitting the stone.

If you want to give yourself a tone, moreover, throw the straw of the Spritz or similar in the basket: drinking from the glass is a much more elegant gesture than risking, out of first-date nervousness, to gnaw the straw like a hamster.

The appointment at the restaurant

In the world of fairy tales, the couple would be amiably at the table chatting without being overwhelmed by the urges of social networks. But, in addition to the appointment, there is a whole virtual life to carry on while the waiters rattle off dishes like popcorn.

The photography of the plate with the smartphone, which has now become a national sport and of which I could play the world finals, diverts attention from the partner, but I think it is not right to hide behind a finger and torture oneself by pretending to be who we are not.

So, in spite of the purists who consider it a boor, the use of the smartphone on the first date is allowed. But beware: the photo of the dish with a winking hashtag is fine (which the other half of the apple will then go and spy on from the bathroom), but the semantic and tactical construction of the catch-like text should be postponed at least until after the dessert, so as not to shamelessly interrupt the flow of conversation.

On the choice of dishes of those in front of us, we must be very careful.

Food tells many things about us, even some character traits that should not be underestimated. Courage, for example: that of choosing the most difficult dish on the menu, to name one of the fried brains. A certain ostentation of self-confidence: spaghetti with garlic. And then the choice of dessert.

The age-old question of the bill

There are no rules written in marble, as it is true that a woman will always expect the first dinner to be offered to her.

While wanting to shake off the issues of strict etiquette, and despite the majority of women flaunting their feminism, the first dinner should be the prerogative of men, provided that we are talking about straight couples.

With regard to the rest of the homosexual universe, however, the rule applies that whoever launches the invitation pulls out their wallet, what a world the world has come from. Then, from the second meeting, everyone is free: I welcome the Roman bill, the “this time it's my turn”, or “then I'll offer the cocktail after dinner”.

Let's get rid of the prehistoric conventions, let's let men be gallant, but let's stem phenomena that would become unpleasant from the second meeting (in the style "scroccona, this!").

The shoe and other false myths

Let's face it: those who make the shoe know how to enjoy life. This is why all spontaneous gestures should not be censored and, indeed, they could be very welcome by the male and female universe.

In addition to the shoe, even tasting from the other's plate is a gesture of complicity and sharing that should be not so much demonized as widely cleared through customs. On the other hand, the exchange of some microbes is also a good omen for a "fun" after dinner.

Furthermore, after years of embarrassment, the time has come to inform our neighbor about the little triangle of parsley that has tragically implanted itself between the two incisors: the embarrassment will pass quickly without risking that the other notices it at the end of the evening and you never call us back feeling like an idiot with a speckled smile.

We have already given some indications about after dinner a century ago.

What do you say, we update it in a spicy jalapeno version?