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Restaurants: A short guide to everything that ruins dinner
Restaurants: A short guide to everything that ruins dinner

It's easy to say "I ate well". No, maybe it's not that early, but let's say the case. There are countless issues that can spoil the atmosphere and also the idyll with your favorite dish.

Fresh from a tragicomic experience in which I added up a series of unfortunate negative circumstances, I decided to draw up a list of the things that they send food sideways when we eat al restaurant or in pizzeria.

Waiting, of course, for you to give me a hand too, remembering that time when dinner went awry for reasons outside the bite.


An accident that knows no geographical boundaries, always topical, the most brilliant minds of CERN are working to resolve, but we are still far from the solution.

Admitted and not granted that the tables in the outdoor rooms, or those on the streets of Trastevere, to understand each other, it is divine work to give stability, I remind restaurateurs that eating with the tip of a fork for fear of overturning is not exactly the favorite sport of Italians.


You know the never quite rare figure of the waiter who advises you not to take the second dish because as a prescient one he knows that you will not arrive alive and well at the end of the two courses?

The fact of being thin, then, is an aggravating factor for such an irritating human type that feels like giving you unsolicited advice by forcibly putting you on a diet.


One of the things that manages to spoil the atmosphere of the relaxing dinner is the neighbor at the table with obvious hearing problems and the ability to emit the ultrasounds of howler monkeys.

To be clear, it is the same that, despite looking at him grimly and with a warning to lower his voice, he manages to have the opposite effect by pushing the whole place to raise its voice, creating those atmospheres at the limit of bearable decibels.


It often happens in places on the lake or on the sea. It also happens in slightly shabby chic restaurants and, if you think about it, it happens everywhere, especially where personality is not exactly the best quality of the place.

The famous lounge soundtrack of the dinner, forcibly relaxing, manages to make me hate the whole context, only after 15 minutes. Do you think that at the end of the dinner I feel very strong the instinct to shoot at full volume even Fedez. And I said it all.


Have you ever ordered a Coke with a pizza, right? Of course, maybe it is no longer in fashion, but there are moments that I don't give a damn about fashions and Coca Cola, every now and then, nobody takes it off me.

It will therefore have happened to you that, without warning you in advance of the crime, someone has also brought you a nice tumbler glass filled with ice and lemon. Stinging situation.


You have invited your best friend to dinner, let's say the case. You haven't seen it for too long, you have a lot of things to tell, you feel so good that you could even be in a tavern: everything is allowed.

There is only one exception: the jubilant horde of children in the wild unleashed by parents on the verge of a nervous breakdown. They run, stumble over chairs, bang on the legs of desperate and helpless waiters. They would also have made Mother Teresa of Calcutta go hungry.


Doubt seizes you as soon as you set foot in the restaurant (often Chinese, but that is not necessarily the case). It's too late: your initial sensations will fade and the stench of fried food will become part of the decor, without you paying much attention to it. But then dinner ends and we get back in the car to go home.

It is at that precise moment that you realize you have a spring roll in your pocket, it must have accidentally fallen into the waiter in your jacket, who knows. It only takes a moment to understand that no, wrapping is not involved and that from the hair to the toenails the stench of fried food has gripped you with its murderous clutches.


We have talked about it several times, and there are still those who want to make our food go the wrong way by offering us the menu like an autobiographical novel.

The lasagna with its crunchy petals; risotto in the manner of the chef. They should suppress them as children, they and the poetic ambitions they carry with them from elementary school.


Bad habits never die. Not too welcome but allowed in pubs, especially in conjunction with popular national events such as the soccer world cup, the TV in the pizzeria, often tuned to unlikely channels, is a legacy of other times.

Not like the tavern mirrors, now back in vogue, rather like an old iron that should be archived.


Special mention for the workaholic in the dining room who every day learns the spiel of desserts by heart and proclaims it at such a speed as to send even Branduardi into a tailspin.

At the end of the nursery rhyme you will not even remember where it started from and, after the third consecutive repetition, feeling a bit stunned, you will be forced to order "the last one you said".


Go for the addition of an ingredient on the pizza. Also go for the tip if you are overseas. On the other hand, the metaphysical supplement for bread, or for other furnishings that should be part of the game, is always indigestible.

Once I also paid the “sight” supplement: they don't see me anymore.


Lunch break; order a salad otherwise the afternoon during digestion will be uphill. So far so good. Until the condiments kit is gently placed on the table.

This is where the restaurant is measured: always be wary of the place that offers you the greased bottle of oil with the label eaten by wear and illegible. Yes, there are still those for whom the anti-topping cap is pure utopia.

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